Misogyny and male condescension alive and well

| February 22, 2016

At the next party you attend, observe a few couples in their interactions. Notice anything? Rose Stanley does, over and over again.

If you’re like me, you’re single and either heading for – or somewhat past – 30. You’ve probably tried online dating at least once.

What are men looking for? If you’ve read their online profiles, you might have found scant and uninformative descriptions which could describe grandad or your unborn male child (Oops, yes, that clock is ticking – so let’s move right along).

Conversely other online profiles for men provide verbose, long winded biographies where you realise that being in this type of man’s company would be too much to bear, even if being outdoors with plenty of directions in which to run.

I have honestly found that most men – of all ages – do prefer to do all the talking… about themselves, naturally. The fact is, while some women are riveting conversationalists and some aren’t, most of them end up being the compliant and dutiful listeners to male monologues.

Misogyny and male condescension are alive and well. If you remain unconvinced, observe a few couples yourself at the next party you attend, as they pair off to engage in inter-gender-ational intercourse.

I am a bit of a history buff, and I read a biography of Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon who managed to live for over 100 years. Not only did her husband, the Duke (later the King of England), propose three times before she deigned to accept him, she also received numerous other proposals before that.

She was certainly attractive by standards of the day, and her family moved in elite circles, but her real attraction quite simply seems to have been her charisma – something the biographer often refers to throughout the book.

I want to explore the pros and cons of such irresistibility and ask: Are charms like these still a valued commodity for contemporary women who wish to be considered eligible for men’s long term interest?

And if so, I wonder why some women ‘get it’, while others languish desperately – waiting for Mr Right, then Mr Alright you’ll do… and finally to Mr For God’s sake, you’ll HAVE to do!

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