It's easy to forget those first few weeks of parenthood.

It's easy to forget the total sense of powerlessness and loss of control the arrival of a tiny, helpless, demanding little creature precipitates in the formerly ordered, neat, punctual lives of new parents.

And it's funny, because part of the reason this first few weeks is so challenging is that it's soon forgotten, and rarely experienced by those who aren't actually physically going through it.

Until we have our own tiny infants thrust upon us it's rare for most women, and almost unheard of for most men to have even held a new-born.  Yet, suddenly, sleep-deprived, dripping with breast milk, dishevelled and confused, we're expected to understand the needs of a screaming infant.

And then we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, and the total disconnect between the societal images of the successful, attractive, well groomed parents, and the reality of the bloodshot eyes and birds nest hair is just too overwhelming.

A big part of the problem is the expectations we set up for ourselves. If we lived in communities where we had more of an opportunity to come into contact with little ones and the parents of little ones it might be a bit different.

Not that I'm suggesting you go to live in a hut with your pregnant relatives and extended family. There are better and far more practical ways to solve the challenge.

It's more about balance. It's about being forewarned so that people can understand what to expect and not to expect in the first six weeks, from themselves, and the baby, and their relationship, and just about everyone else.

Unfortunately it's not all that easy to artificially create an intense interest in the challenges of early childhood parenting, until it's actually upon us.

One thing we can do is to encourage the formation of mother's groups and father's groups, and encourage parents-to-be to actually go and spend time with other new parents so they can get a bit of an idea of what it really looks like.

And it doesn't need to be all that formal. Without falling too far into cliché's, Dad's tend to be more reserved about connection with each other, and can feel a bit forced when it comes to sharing their emotions. But they don't actually need to talk the same way new mums talk to each other. It might be enough to share the odd joke with another dad about coming home from work and finding a teary mum still in her PJs, and a smelly baby. Or was that a smelly mum and a teary baby!

Either way, it's often enough just to realise you're not the only one, and resources such as the Raising Children Website, can be a great way for parents to connect with each other.  Via online forums they can share information and stories and provide each other with support and understanding. These forums can also help parents to create more formal support networks such as meeting at the local community centre. Film clips from the companion Raising Children DVD also allow parents to see and learn from the experiences of other parents.  In particular, the film clips for Dads are great for fathers who might not get many opportunities to network and share experiences with other new dads.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/dads_changing_role_video.html

Whether formal or informal, these communication networks are invaluable to new and expectant parents, and so long as these networks exist on whatever level, we're well on the way to making the most important job we'll ever have just that little bit easier.

Parent, registered psychologist and advocate for the raisingchildren.net.au website, Rebekka Tuqiri currently works at the Health Psychology Unit at the Royal North Shore Hospital, and would like everyone to take an extra minute to tell a tired parent: "Hang in there mate, you're doing a great job!".