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We speak the same language, but that doesn't mean we understand each other

Catherine Fritz-Kalish

I have just returned from a five month around the world trip with my husband and two sons. My husband worked and the kids and I explored. We were in the USA for three months and Europe for two, and one of the first realisations I had was that just because you share a common language doesn't mean you understand your neighbour any better than if they spoke a language foreign to you.

Our environment makes and shapes us and this is why I found the many differences between me and the Philadelphians, the New Yorkers and the Miamians I met so fascinating. We all spoke English and we all lived a relatively privileged life, but because of our physical environments, what we thought was important differed as much as if we lived on different planets.

Even more interesting was how similar and easy to understand I found the Italians I met in Rome, despite the obvious language barrier.

In Sydney, most people are concerned about the environment. We reuse, reduce and recycle, we turn taps off and we use paper plates instead of plastic.

In Philadelphia, where there is plenty of water, land, grass and trees, they use polystyrene cups, plastic plates and buy most of their food ready made and ready to eat with 20 seconds in the microwave. The harsh winters mean playing indoors for 8 months of the year is a necessity - that means Nintendo Wii's are a dime a dozen - you can play tennis, golf and baseball, all from the comfort of your lounge room. But, in the times of good weather you have your own huge garden to play in, everyone in your neighborhood sends their kids to your place of an afternoon to just hang out. You get to know your neighbors really well.

In Sydney, we hardly know our neighbors and we live in such small homes with tiny outdoor areas that having your street over to play is impossible. Instead, friends meet in public parks and on beaches - something that is common to the Italians I met while in Rome. Although we don't speak the same language, when it came to playing in the afternoon, my 3 and 5 year olds were happy and used to taking a soccer ball to a piazza to kick it around, and whoever else was there at the time would join in.

The outdoor cafes of Rome bore a striking resemblance to the café culture in Bondi, Double Bay and Rose Bay where people watching is just as big a pass time as having your morning coffee. In Philadelphia, on another hand, it has only been a recent phenomenon to sit at outside tables and chairs to eat and drink. It's just not part of their culture.

When I was in Miami, I had a car. I had to, because I could not get anywhere, not even to the shops, without it. Nothing was in walking distance. You don't have a local café, a local grocer, a local anything. You don't have relationships outside of those you choose to make.

Within two days of living in Rome, I felt right at home with my local supermarket, my local pasticceria and my local café. I knew the owners, they knew me, they knew about my family and even where I lived - just like in Sydney.

These are just a few observations on how important lifestyle is in shaping who we are. I could go on for pages about how different the Miamians are from the New Yorkers I met, but I think the most important message I can pass on is that even if you think someone seems foreign to you, you can always find some common ground and the biggest lesson I learnt on this trip was that face value is pretty cheap. It is always worth spending that extra bit of time to learn about someone and in turn then understand them and our world better.

Catherine Fritz-Kalish is co-founder and General Manager of Global Access Partners (GAP) - a proactive and influential network which initiates high-level discussions at the cutting edge of the most pressing commercial, social and global issues of today. Catherine's broad business experience includes coordination of a number of international initiatives for the SME unit of the OECD (Organisation of Economic Cooperation and Development) at headquarters in Paris, marketing and brand management within all seven divisions of the George Weston Foods Group, and working within the TCG Group of Companies in the area of start-up incubator establishment.

www.globalaccesspartners.org, www.tcg.net.au

Comments

true true

Sounds as though you had several amazing experiences. I must say I am a little surprised by your comment about Sydney being very environmentally responsible. I am impressed!

I think the key to your observations is that if you make a little effort to understand and appreciate, rather than fear or ridicule (very important), your travelling experience is far more enriching.

My Aunty lives next door to a Vietnamese family and, without travelling, has learnt many things about their traditional cuisine and customs. In return, they have learnt more of the English language and always have someone to rely on if they can't read or understand their mail properly. Your comment about finding common ground with people despite not sharing the same language is very true!

It's also true how quickly

It's also true how quickly you become accustomed to another country's ways of life if you live there a little longer. I remember, when I first came back to Russia, my homeland of 30 years, after spending two years in Australia, I immediately started noticing things that before I've never even thought of - attitudes to the environment one of them. I was appalled at how much water was being wasted in the kitchens, I missed friendly smiles on people's faces and once I was almost run over by a car on a pedestrian crossing because I just assumed it'd give me a priority (as an Australian one would do), and it didn't.

So yes, other countries' customs are fascinating and worthwhile learning before you visit a place for the first time - it may save your life.

Understanding...

Unfortunately, I don`t have such an experience. But I can say a few words about understanding between, for example, an Australian and a Russian. Yes, we speak different languages, but we all live on one planet. People understand each other, because their thoughts are similar. We speak and think in different languages, but our mentalities were created in similar ways, that`s why people of different nationalities can understand each other.

I totally agree with you, Catherine...

To tell the truth, I've never been abroad but I totally agree with you, Catherine, that our environment makes and shapes us. It influences our culture, our language and our lifestyle. I can't but agree that our lifestyle is shaping who we are. That's why the problem of misunderstanding between people of different nationalities occurs. More than that, I think different lifestyles cause a lot of problems in understanding not only foreigners but also close relatives... "We speak the same language but that doesn't mean we understand each other"

let me agree with you

Yes, it's the fact that the environment we live in influences our minds, shaping our life-vision and attitude to the world around us. That's why, when we are speaking to foreigners, sometimes it seems that we don't understand what they are talking about, even if we're speaking the same language. In fact, we just can't understand the way they think. I guess that learning not language, but the culture of different countries can help us overcome this misunderstanding.

It's true that culture and

It's true that culture and lifeways of people are reflected in their language. A person's attitude towards different things is entirely defined by the language he or she speaks. Language is a unique mediator between man's thought and reality. So when we communicate to each other we unconsciously express our point of view with the help of our language. That means that we see the world in the way that our language allows us to see it. I believe the best way to avoid misunderstanding is to leave your patterns of thinking and try to think as your interlocutor do. For instance, everyone knows that American and English are very positive people, they reckon the power of positive thinking can do miracles. It's strange to know that complaining isn't acceptable for them. This idea is unusual to Russian people, it seems to us quite natural to be in low spirits: foreigners often say that we even smile very seldom. At first I was surprised to see that almost every English person smiled at me even if I didn't know him or her. But then I tried to think as they do: does it cost you a lot to flash a smile at somebody? That's when I learned how to smile...

Don't be afraid of giving up your stereotypes...We stick to our principles and don't want to find a compromise even with the people of our counries...So don't ask: why are they so different from us? Ask: why are WE so different from them?

There are some interesting

There are some interesting thoughts in the text and in the comments. I am interested in learning foreign languages and I realise that knowing language is not enough to understand foreighners completely. You have to know their traditions and their lifestyle. It's important to avoid stereotypes! For example, russians are not bearded man drinking vodka and americans are not all fat and lazy.

You must learn customs when

You must learn customs when you want to go to foreign country. Some things which seem for you ordinary, it can be strange for other people. But if you don't know customs, it doesn't mean you can do everything. it can be dangerous for you. Be carefull!

My own experience

As for me, I must admit that sometimes it's easier to use the language of gestures talking to a foreigner. It all depends on the situation but when you meet people whose English is rather worse than yours, it's the only way to communicate! I’ll try to explain… When I was going to Egypt, I was convinced that there I'll be able to speak English everywhere, because English is a common language...but I was really shocked! The Egyptians spoke Russian even better than English!! During my staying there I could normally talk English to 3 persons only!!! And their language level also leaved much to be desired =)) But it was a very interesting and exciting experience!! Though not everything was clear, we enjoyed each other and used the language of gestures if necessary =))

As for me, I've never been

As for me, I've never been abroad, so I don't have such an experience, but I agree with you Catherine,because different countries have different traditions & at first it seems bizarre, but then it becomes accustomed if you live there a little longer.I'm convinced, that traditions from other contries can help you to see your life in another side. It helps you to see how important to take care about the environment, for example.

I' ve never been abroad yet

I' ve never been abroad yet,but last summer I went to Adler.It's a part of Russia,but everything was a little different for me:environment,people,cafes and shops,etc.For example,there was live music almost in all cafes.It's usual for Adler.Do you understand what I mean?I think you do.

what a small world

Hi, I want to thank you all for taking the time to post your comments on my Blog. It is good to hear all your ideas and your feedback. It seems that many of the comments are from people from Russian origin, can you please tell me how you linked to the openforum site. It is very interesting to see that my blog in australia can have so much input from a place as physically far away as Russia.

thanks again, it is great to be in contact.

I'm absolutely agree with

I'm absolutely agree with Catherine because if you want to go abroad, you must leran traditions and customs this country. I think it's necessary! As for me when I was abroad it helped me to understand foreingers better, despite the obvious language barrier. Morover a common language doesn't mean you understand your neighbour or friends any better than if they speak a language foreign to you. Unfortunately, sometimes we speak the same language but we don't want to understand each other...

To tell the truth, I've

To tell the truth, I've never been abroad. So, I can't be absolutely sure, but I think, that people become accustomed to another country's ways of life if they live there a little longer and if they know other contry's traditions and peculiarities. Many people believe, it is easy to socialize with foreigners, but they forget, that the same gestures in different countries can mean different things, and if you don't know their meanings you can have some problems. Well, it's important to know other county's customs and foreigners' behaviour, especially if you like to travel!

Ou CatherineI feel agitated

Ou Catherine

I feel agitated after reading this text. Well, I must say it's a natural reaction. We are all people,but at the same time we are different. It's a hot issue. and there are a lot of opinions about it. As for me I think it depends on people's culture. Every human lives as he wants and feels comfortable.

What aout me I'm from Georgia and I see an obvious differense between Russians and Georgians. It can be seen in the way they speak russian, eat, joke, even dance. But on the hole there is something that unites these nationalities. And i hope that they will solve all the problems and there will be peace in the world!!!!!!!

Ilona