Top tips for a more visible you
Are you over 50 and sometimes feel like you’re invisible? Stylist Annalisa Armitage has some easy tips for you to emerge into full view.
“Invisible over 50?” Some-one said this to me a few weeks ago and it has been in my thoughts, on and off, since then. What does it mean and why does it happen? Does it happen to men and women alike? Is it what causes women of a certain age to go all weird with their hair – you know what I mean, spikey, unnatural colour streaks – all done in the name of being visible?
I became invisible when I moved from Melbourne to Sydney. On trips to Melbourne, people started looking at me again. Is it a city thing? Does it happen to everyone? Is it that if I look like a Sydney person no-one looks? Or perhaps if I fit the mould of being attractive in Melbourne (chic?) but not in Sydney (blond and beachy?), people will look? I felt the same when I went from London to Miami – people looked in London but ignored in Miami. Is London Melbourne and Sydney Miami? It’s an interesting thought.
By ‘look’ you know what I mean, the first glance and then maybe again, the up and down, the lingering look, the head turner. The letting you pass, the seat on the bus (not because you are frail), letting you pass through a doorway, into a lift, giving way in line – none of it an obvious ‘come on’, just a recognition and politeness. Women can be invisible to other women just as easily as they can be invisible to men. Being invisible is when you are of no consequence, no second glances, no lingering looks without pity. And if there happens to be a lingering look, you wonder if you forgot to check if your shoes match or your mascara is running! What is this when some-times you are seen and sometimes you are not. Some days do we wear the invisibility cloak without knowing?
Maybe I should be sponsored to travel around the world and give each city an ‘invisibility’ index for tall, mature, athletic looking red heads and take a friend who is blond, beachy and booby and see what happens… Anyone who would like to sponsor this exploratory, scientific study please let me know.
Until then let’s consider the original musing of invisibility over 50. Let’s for now contain the scope to women only. My premise would be that as women age, often they lose themselves to their work, their children their partners so much so that they forget themselves because they are not important in the scheme of things – everything else takes a higher priority and they even think themselves invisible.
If this sounds like you get out of that rut by following my top 9 tips to a more visible you!
- Change your mindset, take time out for yourself, and write affirmations of your own value if it helps and repeat twice daily.
- Create joy in your life and smile. The glass is always half full, and guess what, it can also be refilled. A positive attitude is very seductive.
- Breathe – yes, take those deep breaths to oxygenate your skin and bring that healthy glow.
- Exercise. I know this is not a new idea. So, do it.
- Groom yourself within an inch of your life. Now, this doesn’t mean caked on make up if it’s not your thing, but you must look polished. Even as a ‘natural’, filed nails, clean hair gorgeously cut, and lip gloss applied creates a finished look that says: I value myself enough to take care of myself because I am of great value! Plenty to look at here.
- Wear outfits that compliment your body shape and your skin, hair and eye colour.
- Complete outfits with bags, shoes and jewellery. This tells the world you command your items, not the other way around.
- Make sure your clothes fit – too tight they scream ‘I’ve just put on weight’, too lose ‘I’m pretty sloppy and I don’t care’.
- Walk and move with purpose. You are an important person with lots going on. You have everything under control because you are amazing. (Fake it until you make it if this is not true right now for you)
If you are feeling invisible, recognise that these tips are easier to say than to implement. Pick the one that you think will make the biggest impact for you – master it and then go for the next. Give yourself time to emerge into full view.
If all else fails, you may need to move. Keep checking back here as I develop the invisibility index, and in the meantime if you need help with any of the tips contact me at annalisa@myimageconsultant.com.au, www.myimageconsultant.com.au, 0413 898 776.
Annalisa Armitage is owner and principle stylist at My Image Consultant. She believes that when you demonstrate who you are through what you wear, life is simple, productive and so much easier. She works with clients to understand their personality, objectives and taste to then develop their individual unique style to meet those objectives whilst taking into account their colouring, body shape, lifestyle and budget. For her clients this means that they save time and money, and how they look doesn’t sabotage what they are trying to achieve. She is sought after in the media for comment on anything from current fashion trends, how our politicians dress to general style and beauty tips. She has appeared on national Television, ‘Today Tonight’, ABC radio, BRW magazine, and many others. She has delivered tailor made workshops to companies as diverse as ING, Luxottica, CBA, AT Kearney, Woolworths, Generator Talent, 3M, and St Pauls Grammar. Her individual clients work for both medium to large corporates and are middle to senior management, or are entrepreneurs for whom it is even more important to make sure that they make an effective first impression.
Yoshiko Ardoin
April 25, 2016 at 10:04 am
Very helpful tips
Very helpful tips! Age is just a number, it's how we carry ourself that makes us beautiful as a person. I will keep thess tips in mind. Thanks!
summeracidre
May 19, 2016 at 5:02 am
Reward yourself
Sometimes being visible or invisible doesn't always mean you aged or something, sometimes people just choose to ignore you and that's more painful. I guess when you were still based in Melbourne your just a regular sight to the people who lives on that state, you're just the same as them that when you moved to a different place you become someone exciting, someone new, someone to gossip about ha ha ha, foreigners are always something, even in the country where I live, whenever I visit a certain place which is not a city, people tend to think that I am different from them that even if I talked to them most of the time, they still treat me differently. Sometimes you just feel invisible because you forgot to treat yourself, 50 is just a number, I am in my late twenties and even I feel invisible sometimes. We have to keep in mind that women, no matter how hard people fight for equality will always be women. We have things we can do better than men, and we have things that needs their help, and that in our society, no matter where you are, you have to be pretty, not in the pretty kind of pretty, you have to feel pretty, you have to believe in yourself that you are pretty, that you can be better no matter what. I hope I am making sense. My only tip is to never forget to give yourself a treat, small one's, big expensive one's it doesn't matter, just give yourself something you like, something that would ease whatever you are feeling. And it doesn't have to be given to yourself, sometimes giving something to someone gives a more rewarding feeling.