Nothing’s Safe

| December 6, 2008

A confident yet cautious approach to new situations and people generally, whilst not foolproof, gives anybody travelling alone the best chance of a fun safe trip.

"But it's so dangerous", is the standard response to any single girl's travel plans.

Going overseas can be dangerous, so can staying home. Driving, walking to school and catching the train at night are all potentially very dangerous, but unlike those mundane things travelling can be one of the richest experiences life has to offer; so why miss it for fear of what might go wrong?

Risks can be reduced by following a few golden rules: don't get drunk, don't get "romantic", check-in with home regularly, make sure you always have enough money to get out of trouble, don't get in to cars with strangers, dress appropriately, and be polite.

These are all equally good guidelines for staying out of trouble at home here in Australia.

At one time or another, whether at home or abroad I've been stupid enough to break all of those rules, and always been fortunate enough avoid suffering any serious consequences.

Sometimes though, terrible things happen to people who've done nothing wrong.

One of the saddest news stories of 2008 was the disappearance and murder of 21 year old Australian backpacker Britt Lapthorne. Mentioning her death casts a shadow in which it is difficult to simply dismiss as a worry-wart someone trying to convince you it's not safe for young women to travel alone. It seems less reasonable to argue the worst case scenario is unlikely, when her story is fresh in the public's mind that however improbable the worst can and does happen.

When the story broke that Britt's body had been identified, my neighbour, a father of three young daughters, reacted, "That's why there is no way any of my girls are ever traipsing off backpacking by themselves". 

He caught me scoffing under my breath, to which he responded angrily "You think this is funny?  That girl is never coming home because she is dead, what self discovery could possibly be worth that?"

Of course I didn't think it was funny. I was merely bemused at the memory of all the good advice I never took; and at the fantasy any of his own lovely daughters, already so headstrong and independent, would grow up to do everything their Daddy told them. 

Suggesting that there was no way, try as he may, to continue protecting his children from harm well in to adulthood was like a red rag to a bull. After much discussion about the value of independent travel versus the associated risks, his concession was that just because it is impossible to guarantee their continued safety that this was no reason not to try; can't argue with that.

Whilst conceding rapes and murders occur in every city, this concerned parents point was sure, theoretically this could have happened in Brisbane or Adelaide,  but it didn't.

Safe travelling, like most things in life, is a strange and unfair mix smarts and luck.  

The best tip I could offer him as a worried Dad, wasn't to try and keep them from the world, but to help prepare them for some of the challenges they might face far from home, by letting them deal with challenges close to home; it's good practice. If someone is not used to handling tricky situations on their own in a familiar environment, then it is going to be doubly difficult in a foreign one.

There is no underestimating the advantage of the home game. At least on your own turf you know the rules. It's easy to take for granted how delicate and complex cultural cues are when they're so familiar as to be second nature. In a strange place, with people speaking another language, it is much easier to miss or misinterpret danger signs. 

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0 Comments

  1. gleuben

    December 8, 2008 at 3:27 am

    Contrary to your view that
    Contrary to your view that "A confident yet cautious approach to new situations and people generally, whilst not foolproof, gives anybody travelling alone the best chance of a fun safe trip", I believe that the only true way one can really enjoy and gain a lifelong memory from a trip, is to take risks, and do things that are out of one's comfort zone. Ask yourself how many great experiences you remember where you were 'wrapped in cotton wool'? At least when I asked myself this question, I found that the most memorable and fun trips that I have had, were the ones in which I was not cautious and composed. Decisions made in the spur of the moment usually led to the strange and interesting situations that coloured a boring and bland, planned trip. 

  2. sally.rose

    December 8, 2008 at 3:38 am

    Carefree doesn’t have to be careless

    Dear Gleuben  

    In my heart of hearts I agree with you, probably too much so.

    I don't know who that 17old girl, who once upon a time sitting in a bar in Hamburg turned to the people beside her she'd just met and said "sure man, let's get a car and go to Prague, why not?" was anymore!

    Sure, it turned out great, but I'd never do something that risky these days. I have a better concept of personal safety. My advice to any young solo traveller would be that you can be carefree without being careless. So much is out  of your control, it is worth the effort to control what little you can.

    I wish you many happy travels and fun adventures.

  3. queenbee14

    December 10, 2008 at 6:29 am

    Take the chance and reap the rewards

    As a women who has travelled alone overseas, I agree that it is an amazing opportunity that allows one to experience our global community. I have been in situations that daddy would have freaked out at, but I had what Sally calls experience on my own turf. My life has thrown many challenges and opportunities and I have taken the challenges in my stride and used every opportunity. This goes for overseas travel too, do go and see the world, follow your nose and experience cultures so different to our young, non-culture parading as mulit-culturalism.

    Never get in cars with strangers…I thought that was a given. 

    I think its totally ok to be a single women seeing the world just make sure you're safe and not stupid.