Fighting for the right to flourish

Australia Day is a good time to reflect on why Australians in same-sex relationships are still having to fight for their right to marry and live life at their best. Clive Leach looks at why Australia seems unwilling to embrace this branch of diversity.

It’s Australia Day on 26 January and time to celebrate what’s great about Australia! With a shift in focus to reconciliation, and recognition of the rich cultural diversity of the population it’s a day to embrace citizenship, be inspired by truly great Australians and look positively towards a flourishing future.

Interesting word –flourishing. It conjures up images of thriving, growing strong, blossoming and blooming, bearing fruit, living with abundance and giving back.

Positive Psychology – the science of what makes life worth living – defines flourishing as optimal functioning, being at your best possible self. The operational definition developed through the University of Cambridge Well-being Institute is being widely applied to measure flourishing in populations throughout the world. In order to flourish an individual requires the presence of a number of features, including positive emotions, engagement, meaning, positive relationships, self esteem, optimism, vitality, self determination and resilience.  

Flourishing people are happier, healthier, able to bounce back quicker from adversity, more productive, more successful and make a greater contribution the well-being of the wider community and, of course, the economic growth of the nation.

The challenge for governments is that on average only 20-30% of the population are truly flourishing. This doesn’t mean everyone else is failing, but it does mean that so much more has to be done to create environments that allow each and every one of us to flourish and be our optimal best.

A substantial bank of research tells us that positive relationships are key to our capacity to flourish and act as a springboard to many of the features identified above. We also know that married people, contrary to popular belief, are happier than most. In fact being married, more than the type of job you have, the amount of money you earn, or the type of community you live in, is a predictor of increased psychological well-being, less depression and healthy ageing.

As David Meyers says in 'Of Married Adults' – “There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one’s best friend.”

So why in Australia, despite the fact that so much more needs to be done to create the conditions for the population to flourish and the fact that marriage can be a key contributor to well-being,  is the right to marry still denied for people in loving and committed same-sex relationships?

In a country like Australia that genuinely seeks to embrace inclusivity, diversity and democracy and tackle prejudice and discrimination, this situation seems increasingly at odds with the rhetoric. I just fail to understand why there has not been more political support for legislative change, particularly if over 60% voters would support same-sex marriage.

I am not going in to all the substantial and convincing research and arguments for same-sex marriage that have been so clearly presented by Australian Marriage Equality. I am simply highlighting that there is this opportunity being lost to support many people to be the best they can be.

I know people who are battling cancer, living with depression, facing redundancy and working with asylum seekers who have experienced persecution, conflict and trauma way beyond my own comprehension.

In comparison, focusing on the rights of same-sex couples to marry may seem less important and inconsequential. But surely that is exactly the point. In the midst of a world within which there is still so much hatred, fear, pain and grief, why is something that is actually all about love, meaning and hope, such a sticking point?

We could take the usual positive psychology approach and just be grateful for what we have got already in the form of civil unions, but because marriage is fundamentally about goodness, commitment and growth, it has to be worth fighting for.

In today’s society marriage, gay or straight, isn’t for everyone. It is a choice and allowing same-sex couples the right to choose to marry sends a message about what is right with the world live in, not what is wrong with it. It is a message that increases the potential of people to love, belong to, support and cherish each other and ultimately to flourish until the end of their days.

I, for one, am committed to the fight and look forward to an Australia Day when there is yet another good reason to celebrate all that is great about Australia.

References: