Threats, briberies and red wine – flying with young children

Long-distance flights are exhausting at the best of times. Okka Wrede regularly travels with her young children and shares some dos and don’ts.

Imagine the following scenario: You have just spent 45 minutes in a smoky cab on the way to the airport, two hours in various queues in a crowded terminal, have flown seven and a half hours on a fully booked plane to Dubai and then had 25 minutes in an overheated bus.

It is 1 am local time, one of your – in my case three – children is lying on the floor somewhere between gates 23 and 25 unable to take one step further, another one is stuck on the toilet having finally digested the tasty Arabian food from the first flight, and the last one is happily running up and down the fast moving walkway. Boarding time has already started, and the most difficult part is yet to come.

What are you going to do?

Option 1: You could abandon your family and hope that they’d have enough strength left in them to follow you.

Option 2: You could hope that someone else would take care of them.

Option 3: You could either just shoulder them or drag them away, if you’ve still got the stamina to do so.

Option 4: You could bribe, allure or bait them with whatever it takes. As you know, this always helps. After all, there are certain situations that justify any sort of bribery.

A friend of mine travelled with her three kids from Sydney to Frankfurt, and her 5-year-old son vomited every time he ate or drank something. At least he would get a certain expression on his face before throwing up, and so my friend knew when it was going to happen and was well prepared with sick bags and wipes.

When they left the plane in Dubai they made their way to another gate via a lift where he turned pale and looked as if he was going to be sick again. My friend tried to distract him by promising to buy him a toy in the nearest toy shop. It certainly helped, but she spent the next 35 minutes trying to find the right shop, looking for the perfect toy. When they finally finished, it was time to board the ongoing plane and the whole thing started all over again.

Another friend of mine travelled from Sydney to London with her two kids and had a similar problem. The main difference was that she wasn’t prepared. Her 5-year-old son got motion sickness for the first time in his life and vomited all over her just before landing in Singapore for their stopover. They were at least allowed to leave the plane first, but then spent a considerable amount of time looking for a shower to get changed. For her that meant wearing the grey Qantas pyjamas as she didn’t have any spare clothes.

By the time she had finally managed to get clean and dry there had already been a final boarding call for her and they only just managed to get the connecting flight to London. Back on the plane, a glass of wine had never tasted better…

So what did I do? Clenched my teeth and kept telling myself that I’m just playing a part in one of those innocent, heart-warming comedies where George Clooney comes around the corner, offering me a nice hot cup of coffee (which, I find, really helps in these situations) and kept reassuring myself in a mantra-like way “I can manage this”. And of course I did – as we all do – and most of the time not even too badly.

In the end I even watched three movies in a row and had some nice Italian red wine. Fantastic!

And what can you learn from all this? Pack two sets of spare clothes in an extra bag – also for yourself (and if you are forced to wear these grey Qantas pyjamas: wear them with pride!). Allow plenty of time before boarding and pack as many bribes for your children as you can.

And: Don’t rely on George (he probably can’t be faithful anyway), but on your own strength and stamina. This will take you anywhere!